Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
