are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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