We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
