Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
