I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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