We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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