I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
