Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
