What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
