apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize