I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
