..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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