wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize