Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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