Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
