Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
