I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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