They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize