i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
