1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
