you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
