fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize