She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
