My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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