"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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