another moral hangover. fuck.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
