i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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