He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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