Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
