I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
