I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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