Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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