I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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