Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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