I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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