I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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