You're so nebulous sometimes
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
