he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
