Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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