office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
where am i from again
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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