I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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