You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
