That's intense
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
