I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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