ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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