i just wanna soil my oats bro
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
