Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
