no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize