so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
