Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
