Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
