Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize