i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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