I wannas sexs uuuuu
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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