I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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