No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
