You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
