im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize