That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize