I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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