worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
