I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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