absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
PANTIES FOUND
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
