I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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