I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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