Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's just like the Real World with babies
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
