Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
