we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
