So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
