He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
