I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
