That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just found a bag of teeth...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
