I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
