She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
