I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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