So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Acid is not a monday night drug
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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